honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize