Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
