He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
