And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
