So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
