Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize