I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
soo... how was my night?
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