He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize