oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
