So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
