My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I will die if light touches me.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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