doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
