I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
