Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dicks are not precious.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize