when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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