can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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