Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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