I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
