Cold hands, warm shart.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
