i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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