She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
