He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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