I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
