Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
