talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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