You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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