i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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