i would punch a child for taco bell
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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