Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
