# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
