you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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