u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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