You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize