You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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