When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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