ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
