just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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