where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
nutella sex= disaster
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
