he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize