Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
