god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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