No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
