id be glad to
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She's the barista slut.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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