She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
operation harelip BJ is a go
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
