She announced her abortion via fbk
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
