You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
