Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
