based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
