The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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