I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
