So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
