Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
