corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
