His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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