i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
