You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
