I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
