Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
