Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
