You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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