the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
