i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she told me i tasted like america
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
